The Death Star’s Guide to an Intranet

The Death Star intranet homepage

The Death Star. The size of a small moon and a super-weapon with a hyper-focussed laserbeam designed to destroy entire planets. This formidable weapon was the Empire’s secret to conquering civilizations and putting them in their place. To keep the Death Star running, approximately 1.7 million military personnel and 400,000 droids crew the massive space station. 

Aorganisation of that size would need to have some form of an internal communications system, aka, an intranet. Maybe there was one, but it couldn’t have been very effective if the Rebels were able to get their hands on the Death Star blueprints that lead to its destruction 

But what if that couldn’t have happened? 

The Death Star Intranet

Imagine if the Death Star had an excellent intranet platform designed for quick communication, easy sharing of information, and employee engagement all under high-security protocols. Would the Rebels have a more difficult, if not impossible, time to infiltrate the system? Without a doubt. 

Modern intranets have a built-in, high-security system with stringent permission settings for all personnel. Content is uploaded and indexed, making all information searchable. And, as the Empire is about compliance and oversight, projects would go through a rigorous approval process with analytics, version control and compliance checks to ensure everyone who is supposed to look at the content, sees the content. Meaning if someone of such importance, like Erso, were to make any changes, there’s a higher chance of him getting caught if he were to do something… suspicious. I would like to say he would definitely be caught, but only Siths deal in absolutes. 

Welcome to the Death Star Intranet

Considering the Empire has HoloNet as their universal news source, it would make sense to call their intranet the same. Most of all, they’re likely facing internal challenges that reflect that of Earth-companies and need a content strategy to solve them.

Here, we go through the challenges the Death Star likely faces and how an intranet can help.

Connect Remote Workers

To celebrate the glory of the Empire, they must let their employees know. In that case, the homepage would be dominated by Empire news, photos and videos from rallies, and generally other uplifting updates from leadership.  

Internal promotions would be a big deal, especially as there’s a curiously high turnover the closer they worked with Darth Vader. Speaking of, how about some uplifting words from the man himself? 

Personnel can see what their duties and rota are for the day, tick off their to-do list and see what tasks they’re late on. Nothing more invigorating to the day than seeing you’ve got over 700 tasks after logging in. 

Help Personnel Grow

Personnel must be as well-rounded as possible so they can be pulled into any type of situation when needed. Learning and development would be front and centre with refresher courses on blaster practice, At-At driving courses, and how to play dead when Darth Vader is having a bad day. 

The Death Star workforce are encouraged to become their best selves through the Employee Recognition applet when they see how much the superstar of the crew is appreciated by the Emperor himself. 

Ensure Efficiency & Compliance

The Empire is about making sure their personnel are efficient and compliant with rules and regulations. How else does one become the universe’s leading government body?  

With Quicklinks, personnel can access rotas, submit expenses, report suspicious activity and log accidents and incidents. Everything they need to be efficient and keep the peace. 

Not everyone can go about it alone and need a little help. With the Droid Directory, personnel can find their little helper immediately.

And lastly, sometimes people need to be reminded of what they stand for and who they represent. Enter the Daily Quote applet where Death Star admins can put in the standards they expect their personnel to uphold, such as “Never question authority” and “Always keep your helmet on”. 

As seen, any size organisation is best served by an engaging intranet software system. This was only a small example of how an intranet for a large organisation, such as the Death Star, would look like. This was done purely in fun (and not because we  support planetary destruction super-weapons).

From the fellow fans of Star Wars at Oak (there are tens of us!), May the Fourth be with you.

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